You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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