Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
