I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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