I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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