i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
