I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
