I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
