I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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