"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Randomize
