two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
