I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
