Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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