im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she told me i tasted like america
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
