there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
