it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
