Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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