I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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