I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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