We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Randomize
