I love black thongs
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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