The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
