She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
