Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
