The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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