White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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