I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
