White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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