What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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