so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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