Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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