Where are you?
In a non slutty way
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
