My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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