people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
