My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
