I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
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