Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
