i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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