She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
