she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
