She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
