you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
