Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i out mim tonsoeep
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