Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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