Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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