You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My vagina is officially offended.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
