Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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