We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
