i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize