I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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