no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
