he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
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