Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
