that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
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I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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