Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
