I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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