I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
