you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize