he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
