Small penises have feelings too.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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