I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
