If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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