Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
