you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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