I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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