I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
